2.4.05
So it's 3 am. Kenzie is sleeping on the couch. I have been trying to clean the apartment for the past 5 hours, but can't seem to motivate myself. Tiff is at our friend's house. The two of them have been cleaning the house we're buying since 8am Saturday. God bless them both. I'd have quit and gone to a buffet a long time ago.
26.3.05
Quote of the Day for 3-26-2005
"Herbivores ate well cause their food didn't never run" - Phish (Reba, from the album Lawnboy)
"Herbivores ate well cause their food didn't never run" - Phish (Reba, from the album Lawnboy)
Tiff and I are in the process of buying a house. And, though I spent many years helping other folks buy the house of their drrreams, this is the first time I've ever been looking for a mortgage. As you may know, I spent the better part of six years processing mortgages for three different companies. The job was great for the first two years. The last four, however, downright sucked. Processing mortgages is a job that a trained monkey can do (no offense to my friends still processing, or to my current processor).
I know, there are loans more complicated than the ones that I had processed, and each loan has its own nuances, but once you start doing it, at any level, or any loan type, you hit a point where you know exactly what the mortgage company needs and what the investor is looking for. Once you progress beyond this point there is no reason that you can't fully process a mortgage in under ten minutes (twelve, if you have to review tax returns).
Anyway, my point is not to get down on the job of processing a loan, my point is that, in my prime, I could process a mortgage in less time than it takes most people to brush their teeth. It was easy. I could "decision a loan" without thinking twice.
But now the tables have turned. I'm on the other end of the phone. I don't have access to the programs and the physical file. I'm not privy to the notes typed into the computer. It's tough not knowing. I think I'm beginning to understand why some of my customers acted the way that they did and said the things they did. Now, I'm not nearly as jumpy as some of the folks to whom I am referring, and I don't think I ever will be.
I do, however, think that I have gained a new appreciation for the job of the processor, and, were I to go back to the world of processing mortgages, I think I would be a more empathetic processor; one who takes more time to explain the process; one who doesn't get offended by being asked the same stupid question five times by the same stupid customer; one whose outlook views processing less as a job and more as a career; one who isn't so darn sarcastic to his customers; one who...oh, who am I kidding?
I'd do everything the same. I'd still be rotten to my customers; I'd still neglect files of customers I don't like; I'd still keep customers on hold just to see how long the light would flash before going dead. Man, I hated processing.
I know, there are loans more complicated than the ones that I had processed, and each loan has its own nuances, but once you start doing it, at any level, or any loan type, you hit a point where you know exactly what the mortgage company needs and what the investor is looking for. Once you progress beyond this point there is no reason that you can't fully process a mortgage in under ten minutes (twelve, if you have to review tax returns).
Anyway, my point is not to get down on the job of processing a loan, my point is that, in my prime, I could process a mortgage in less time than it takes most people to brush their teeth. It was easy. I could "decision a loan" without thinking twice.
But now the tables have turned. I'm on the other end of the phone. I don't have access to the programs and the physical file. I'm not privy to the notes typed into the computer. It's tough not knowing. I think I'm beginning to understand why some of my customers acted the way that they did and said the things they did. Now, I'm not nearly as jumpy as some of the folks to whom I am referring, and I don't think I ever will be.
I do, however, think that I have gained a new appreciation for the job of the processor, and, were I to go back to the world of processing mortgages, I think I would be a more empathetic processor; one who takes more time to explain the process; one who doesn't get offended by being asked the same stupid question five times by the same stupid customer; one whose outlook views processing less as a job and more as a career; one who isn't so darn sarcastic to his customers; one who...oh, who am I kidding?
I'd do everything the same. I'd still be rotten to my customers; I'd still neglect files of customers I don't like; I'd still keep customers on hold just to see how long the light would flash before going dead. Man, I hated processing.
28.5.04
Greetings from AndyLand!
I logged on today for the first time in months, as you can plainly tell, and found out that Blogger now offers image hosting! I can now post pictures on the site, which is what I have been wanting to do for a long time now. I have a lot of pictures to share, mostly of my daughter, Kenzie. Keep looking back at the various pages on my site for updates! Talk to you soon!
-andy
I logged on today for the first time in months, as you can plainly tell, and found out that Blogger now offers image hosting! I can now post pictures on the site, which is what I have been wanting to do for a long time now. I have a lot of pictures to share, mostly of my daughter, Kenzie. Keep looking back at the various pages on my site for updates! Talk to you soon!
-andy
10.10.03
Top 5 Favorite Personalities on Food TV
1) Alton Brown (Good Eats)
2) Emeril Lagasse (Emeril Live and The Essence of Emeril)
3) Mario Batali (Molto Mario and Ciao America, with Mario Batali)
4) Tyler Florence (Food 911 and Tyler's Ultimate)
5) Ming Tsai (East Meets West, with Ming Tsai)
I must mention, however, that Ming Tsai's show is no longer airing on Food TV. Ming has a new show on PBS called Simply Ming. Personally, I like this show much better than East Meets West and I've only seen Simply Ming once!
Also, I want to present some honorable mentions regarding Food TV personalities:
1) Marc Summers (Unwrapped). Most people, especially those my age, will remember him as the host of Double Dare and Family Double Dare on Nickelodeon, the greatest kids channel in the world. I would take Nickelodeon over Disney any day, hands down. Anyway, after Double Dare's run ended, I forgot Marc Summers existed. It's great to see him on tv regularly again. Double Dare was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, and I still watch reruns of it on the Nickelodeon station, GAS (Games And Sports), whenever I happen to catch it.
2) Al Roker (Roker on the Road). I grew up watching Al on NBC out of New York City. He was the jolly weatherman who always had something witty to say. Most of the time his antics got annoying, and he is really a lot more famous than he deserves to be. It was hard for me to take him seriously back then. Oh yeah, Al was also very heavy-set. Now he's had that gastric bypass surgery and has lost a heck of a lot of weight and it's hard for me to believe that that is really him. It may sound weird, but I think that I was able to take him more seriously when he was fat.
3) The Iron Chef. This is absolutely one of my favorite shows, right next to Good Eats. I mean, watching two chefs try to make as many original dishes from the same main ingredient, each having one hour to complete the task - it's just a lot of fun to watch. But the reason I didn't list it in the Top 5 was because there are four main personalities (five, really, I suppose) in the show: "Chariman" Takeshi Kaga (a very good biography, by the way, so be sure to click the link for him), Iron Chef Chinese: Chen Kenichi, Iron Chef Japanese: Masaharu Morimoto, and Iron Chef French: Hiroyuki Sakai. I should also put in Iron Chef Italian: Masahiko Kobe. I'm not too big a fan of his, so he wouldn't have made it into my top list anyway, but I'm putting him here now just to round out the list of characters. I just didn't want to use up the entire list with all of the Iron Chef guys; that wouldn't have been fair to Ming.
1) Alton Brown (Good Eats)
2) Emeril Lagasse (Emeril Live and The Essence of Emeril)
3) Mario Batali (Molto Mario and Ciao America, with Mario Batali)
4) Tyler Florence (Food 911 and Tyler's Ultimate)
5) Ming Tsai (East Meets West, with Ming Tsai)
I must mention, however, that Ming Tsai's show is no longer airing on Food TV. Ming has a new show on PBS called Simply Ming. Personally, I like this show much better than East Meets West and I've only seen Simply Ming once!
Also, I want to present some honorable mentions regarding Food TV personalities:
1) Marc Summers (Unwrapped). Most people, especially those my age, will remember him as the host of Double Dare and Family Double Dare on Nickelodeon, the greatest kids channel in the world. I would take Nickelodeon over Disney any day, hands down. Anyway, after Double Dare's run ended, I forgot Marc Summers existed. It's great to see him on tv regularly again. Double Dare was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, and I still watch reruns of it on the Nickelodeon station, GAS (Games And Sports), whenever I happen to catch it.
2) Al Roker (Roker on the Road). I grew up watching Al on NBC out of New York City. He was the jolly weatherman who always had something witty to say. Most of the time his antics got annoying, and he is really a lot more famous than he deserves to be. It was hard for me to take him seriously back then. Oh yeah, Al was also very heavy-set. Now he's had that gastric bypass surgery and has lost a heck of a lot of weight and it's hard for me to believe that that is really him. It may sound weird, but I think that I was able to take him more seriously when he was fat.
3) The Iron Chef. This is absolutely one of my favorite shows, right next to Good Eats. I mean, watching two chefs try to make as many original dishes from the same main ingredient, each having one hour to complete the task - it's just a lot of fun to watch. But the reason I didn't list it in the Top 5 was because there are four main personalities (five, really, I suppose) in the show: "Chariman" Takeshi Kaga (a very good biography, by the way, so be sure to click the link for him), Iron Chef Chinese: Chen Kenichi, Iron Chef Japanese: Masaharu Morimoto, and Iron Chef French: Hiroyuki Sakai. I should also put in Iron Chef Italian: Masahiko Kobe. I'm not too big a fan of his, so he wouldn't have made it into my top list anyway, but I'm putting him here now just to round out the list of characters. I just didn't want to use up the entire list with all of the Iron Chef guys; that wouldn't have been fair to Ming.
9.10.03
Howdy folks! It has been over 4 months since i've posted anything and even longer since i've posted anything good. Heck, some may say that I've never posted anything good. Well I say phooey! All my ramblings are good!
Tiff and I finally bought our own computer. Right now we are using a dial-up connection to AOL, which sucks, but we are waiting ever so patiently to be set up with a DSL line through Verizon, who certianly seems to be taking their sweet-ass time about it! Oh well. We'll be hooked up to a broadband line soon enough. I can't wait for that to happen.
Anyway, there have been a few changes since the last time I posted anything serious. A lot has happened to keep me busy, first and foremost my lack of a computer at home. But chief among the things that have changed is (in no particular order):
1) I started a new job. The job is fantastic. I still hate it because it's in the mortgage industry, but it's much better than both Cendant and Toll Brothers. The pay is nice, but the way that they pay us is what kind of sucks. Anyway, moving on,
2) Tiff and I moved into a small one bedroom apartment in the same town, Maple Shade, NJ. It's roomy enough for now, but I can't wait to buy a house. Our friends are supposed to be selling us their house when they move out. They are targeting a year from this coming March, I think, so we have plenty of time to save up for it.
3) We had our baby. Kenzie Paige Kovacs was born at 7:55 am on Friday, February 21, 2003. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 6 ounces and was 20.25 inches long. For more details, please see the Adventures of a First-Time Dad page.
Other than those few items, not much has been happening. I am looking into upgrading this site so that I can add pictures of our happy little three-person-one-bedroom-apartment-sharing family. We have had Kenzie's picture taken each month on (or about) her birthday, so if (when) I get that site up and running, you will be able to see her progression as she ages. I may be in a few of those pictures, and if so, you will also be able to see the progression of my hair as it turns from a lovely, deep black color to and ashen white. It's really quite neat.
I'd better get off this now. I want to post a little something on the Adventures page. I'll post more stuff on a more regular basis now that I have this lovely little computer. Take care, everyone!!!
-andy
Tiff and I finally bought our own computer. Right now we are using a dial-up connection to AOL, which sucks, but we are waiting ever so patiently to be set up with a DSL line through Verizon, who certianly seems to be taking their sweet-ass time about it! Oh well. We'll be hooked up to a broadband line soon enough. I can't wait for that to happen.
Anyway, there have been a few changes since the last time I posted anything serious. A lot has happened to keep me busy, first and foremost my lack of a computer at home. But chief among the things that have changed is (in no particular order):
1) I started a new job. The job is fantastic. I still hate it because it's in the mortgage industry, but it's much better than both Cendant and Toll Brothers. The pay is nice, but the way that they pay us is what kind of sucks. Anyway, moving on,
2) Tiff and I moved into a small one bedroom apartment in the same town, Maple Shade, NJ. It's roomy enough for now, but I can't wait to buy a house. Our friends are supposed to be selling us their house when they move out. They are targeting a year from this coming March, I think, so we have plenty of time to save up for it.
3) We had our baby. Kenzie Paige Kovacs was born at 7:55 am on Friday, February 21, 2003. She weighed in at 8 pounds, 6 ounces and was 20.25 inches long. For more details, please see the Adventures of a First-Time Dad page.
Other than those few items, not much has been happening. I am looking into upgrading this site so that I can add pictures of our happy little three-person-one-bedroom-apartment-sharing family. We have had Kenzie's picture taken each month on (or about) her birthday, so if (when) I get that site up and running, you will be able to see her progression as she ages. I may be in a few of those pictures, and if so, you will also be able to see the progression of my hair as it turns from a lovely, deep black color to and ashen white. It's really quite neat.
I'd better get off this now. I want to post a little something on the Adventures page. I'll post more stuff on a more regular basis now that I have this lovely little computer. Take care, everyone!!!
-andy
5.2.03
[12/13/2002 1:31:33 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Movies from 1984
1984 was such a good year for movies. So good, in fact, that it was very hard to come up with 5 definitive favorites. But, here is my list:
1) Ghostbusters
2) The Karate Kid
3) The Terminator
4) Gremlins
5) Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Top 5 Movies from 1984
1984 was such a good year for movies. So good, in fact, that it was very hard to come up with 5 definitive favorites. But, here is my list:
1) Ghostbusters
2) The Karate Kid
3) The Terminator
4) Gremlins
5) Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
[11/25/2002 1:46:52 PM | Andy Kovacs]
"The other day I told my wife, 'I lost my wallet, I'm very depressed.' She said, 'That makes two of you. You and the guy who found it.'"
- Rodney Dangerfield
[11/25/2002 2:08:04 PM | Andy Kovacs]
You know what really bugs me? I mean really gets to me??
Excessively negative people. I cannot, under any circumstances, absolutely, never in a million years, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, tolerate excessively negative people. I hate 'em. Them and bad drivers.
"The other day I told my wife, 'I lost my wallet, I'm very depressed.' She said, 'That makes two of you. You and the guy who found it.'"
- Rodney Dangerfield
[11/25/2002 2:08:04 PM | Andy Kovacs]
You know what really bugs me? I mean really gets to me??
Excessively negative people. I cannot, under any circumstances, absolutely, never in a million years, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, tolerate excessively negative people. I hate 'em. Them and bad drivers.
[11/22/2002 1:22:51 PM | Andy Kovacs]
"Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy."
- Janet Long
[11/22/2002 2:05:56 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Good afternoon, everyone! It's been a while since my last posting, and I'm sure you all want to know if I would do something as gross as go to class as dirty as I described. The answer is:
Yes.
It is true, my friends. Just ask my friend, Phil. It only happened the one time and hasn't occurred since, so you are all safe.
Now. On to this week's Truth or Fiction:
Summer. 1986. My mother was taking care of the twins, David and Laura. My friend, Matthew Martin, who lived down the road, hadn't yet moved away. David and I used to ride our bikes to Matt's house to play. We mostly played in the road, much to the annoyance of passing motorists, but Matt didn't really have much of a yard in which to play, so we made do with what we had.
Down the road from Matt lived a girl named Chrissy Bongiovanni. She was very pretty and was entering the 8th grade. As I was going into 7th grade at the time, she was the alluring older woman. She had attended private school since kindergarten, and was going to start public school in 9th grade. I had a serious crush on this girl. But this is not the Truth or Fiction part.
It turns out that Chrissy had a younger sister (whose name escapes me). The younger sister was David's age, who was 7. Needless to say, David had a crush on the younger sister. We'd go there almost daily to hang out with the Matt, but more importantly, the girls. David really wanted the younger sister to like him, but didn't know how to go about the task. That's where I came in.
Being in the 7th grade made me very knowledgeable in the ways of women and dating, even though I hadn't really dated anyone, ever, with the exception of Diane Wilton from kindergarten to 4th grade. But David was eager to learn from my vast stores of experience.
My course of action: to have David woo her with his angelic singing voice. Here's how it worked: I was a huge fan of the Monkees at the time. Monkees albums were all that I'd owned. So, I transcribed the lyrics to their love songs and made David memorize them. Then, the next time we'd be at Matt's house, I'd have David sing the song to Chrissy's younger sister.
It was quite comical because David took it so seriously. He really tried hard to make sure he got all the words right. Chrissy's younger sister never really responded at all to poor David's efforts; in fact, she once laughed at him, which really hurt his feelings. But we were kind of kindred spirits in a sense, because Chrissy rejected me, too. Oh well. C'est la vie, eh?
So, the question is: Did I really make poor, young, naive, David memorize and sing Monkees love songs to Chrissy's younger sister? Bonus Question: Did he ever get a song 100% correct when he sang it to Chrissy's younger sister?
The answers will be revealed in the next Truth or Fiction!!! Till then,
-andy
[11/22/2002 1:28:07 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies
1) The Terminator (1984)
2) Total Recall (1990)
3) Predator (1987)
4) Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
5) The Running Man (1987)
"Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy."
- Janet Long
[11/22/2002 2:05:56 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Good afternoon, everyone! It's been a while since my last posting, and I'm sure you all want to know if I would do something as gross as go to class as dirty as I described. The answer is:
Yes.
It is true, my friends. Just ask my friend, Phil. It only happened the one time and hasn't occurred since, so you are all safe.
Now. On to this week's Truth or Fiction:
Summer. 1986. My mother was taking care of the twins, David and Laura. My friend, Matthew Martin, who lived down the road, hadn't yet moved away. David and I used to ride our bikes to Matt's house to play. We mostly played in the road, much to the annoyance of passing motorists, but Matt didn't really have much of a yard in which to play, so we made do with what we had.
Down the road from Matt lived a girl named Chrissy Bongiovanni. She was very pretty and was entering the 8th grade. As I was going into 7th grade at the time, she was the alluring older woman. She had attended private school since kindergarten, and was going to start public school in 9th grade. I had a serious crush on this girl. But this is not the Truth or Fiction part.
It turns out that Chrissy had a younger sister (whose name escapes me). The younger sister was David's age, who was 7. Needless to say, David had a crush on the younger sister. We'd go there almost daily to hang out with the Matt, but more importantly, the girls. David really wanted the younger sister to like him, but didn't know how to go about the task. That's where I came in.
Being in the 7th grade made me very knowledgeable in the ways of women and dating, even though I hadn't really dated anyone, ever, with the exception of Diane Wilton from kindergarten to 4th grade. But David was eager to learn from my vast stores of experience.
My course of action: to have David woo her with his angelic singing voice. Here's how it worked: I was a huge fan of the Monkees at the time. Monkees albums were all that I'd owned. So, I transcribed the lyrics to their love songs and made David memorize them. Then, the next time we'd be at Matt's house, I'd have David sing the song to Chrissy's younger sister.
It was quite comical because David took it so seriously. He really tried hard to make sure he got all the words right. Chrissy's younger sister never really responded at all to poor David's efforts; in fact, she once laughed at him, which really hurt his feelings. But we were kind of kindred spirits in a sense, because Chrissy rejected me, too. Oh well. C'est la vie, eh?
So, the question is: Did I really make poor, young, naive, David memorize and sing Monkees love songs to Chrissy's younger sister? Bonus Question: Did he ever get a song 100% correct when he sang it to Chrissy's younger sister?
The answers will be revealed in the next Truth or Fiction!!! Till then,
-andy
[11/22/2002 1:28:07 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies
1) The Terminator (1984)
2) Total Recall (1990)
3) Predator (1987)
4) Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
5) The Running Man (1987)
[10/10/2002 9:12:52 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Robin Williams Movies (revised)
1) Dead Poets Society (1989)
2) Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
3) Death to Smoochy (2002)
4) One Hour Photo (2002)
5) Popeye (1980)
[10/10/2002 8:44:48 AM | Andy Kovacs]
"Late night TV is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier."
- James Dent
"If you really want to impress people with your computer literacy, just add the words "dot com" to the end of everything you say, dot com."
- Unknown (but I suspect that it's Dave Barry)
"Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago."
- Robert A. Heinlein
[10/10/2002 9:06:45 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Good morning! To recap, the last Truth or Fiction stated that someone had placed tacks on my teacher's chair. The question was: was I really accused and, if so, did I really do it?
The answer, dear readers, is: I was accused, I didn't do it, and, yes, that was when my crush on Autumn Grovenger (that lasted all the way from first grade) officially ended. It really was a sad day.
Today's Truth or Fiction comes from more recent times (this is my way of taking it easy on you), the College years:
It was fall semester, my second-senior year at Rowan (September 1997). My roommate, Phil, and I had taken the same General Psychology course. The class started at 9:30 a.m. Since it was my last year, I was intent on enjoying it to the fullest. I had a new job at a womens shoe store that paid and treated me considerably better than my previous job, and I only had four classes. I was living it up.
Somethimes I lived it up a little too much, though. On a few occassions I would stay out late at the fraternity house and stumble home later than I could presently imagine. On the mornings that followed a night such as that I would usually wake on the couch to Phil kicking me telling me to get up now or I'll miss the class. And, as a sort of punishment on my part, I'm assuming, he wouldn't wake me up until about 9:15 which gave me a few precious minutes to slap on a hat, some deoderant, and, if I was feeling particularly sassy, some cologne and new socks.
One morning Phil woke me up a little later than normal. I didn't have time to do anything except grab my bag and go. We got to class and sat in our usual seats in the back of the class and the other students sat down around us.
Then the students started standing in their desks (the desks were the kind with the little attached flap that goes over your lap) and moving away from me. Even Phil moved a little. I guess I smelled pretty bad. But it was hot the night before, you see, so I smelled like a combination of sweat, stale beer, cigarette smoke, and I'm sure a few other things some industrial-strength cleansers probably would have had a tough time getting out of my clothes.
It was an eye-opening experience for me (and an eye-watering one for the other students, I'm assuming) because nothing like that had ever happened to me. From then on I made sure that, even if it meant going to class late, I would at least put on a clean shirt before I left the apartment.
So. Is this story true? Did I really go to class smelling like something pulled out of the dumpster at a really bad British-Taiwanese-fusion restaurant? The Truth will be revealed next week! Till then,
-andy
Top 5 Robin Williams Movies (revised)
1) Dead Poets Society (1989)
2) Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
3) Death to Smoochy (2002)
4) One Hour Photo (2002)
5) Popeye (1980)
[10/10/2002 8:44:48 AM | Andy Kovacs]
"Late night TV is very educational. It teaches you that you should have gone to bed earlier."
- James Dent
"If you really want to impress people with your computer literacy, just add the words "dot com" to the end of everything you say, dot com."
- Unknown (but I suspect that it's Dave Barry)
"Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago."
- Robert A. Heinlein
[10/10/2002 9:06:45 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Good morning! To recap, the last Truth or Fiction stated that someone had placed tacks on my teacher's chair. The question was: was I really accused and, if so, did I really do it?
The answer, dear readers, is: I was accused, I didn't do it, and, yes, that was when my crush on Autumn Grovenger (that lasted all the way from first grade) officially ended. It really was a sad day.
Today's Truth or Fiction comes from more recent times (this is my way of taking it easy on you), the College years:
It was fall semester, my second-senior year at Rowan (September 1997). My roommate, Phil, and I had taken the same General Psychology course. The class started at 9:30 a.m. Since it was my last year, I was intent on enjoying it to the fullest. I had a new job at a womens shoe store that paid and treated me considerably better than my previous job, and I only had four classes. I was living it up.
Somethimes I lived it up a little too much, though. On a few occassions I would stay out late at the fraternity house and stumble home later than I could presently imagine. On the mornings that followed a night such as that I would usually wake on the couch to Phil kicking me telling me to get up now or I'll miss the class. And, as a sort of punishment on my part, I'm assuming, he wouldn't wake me up until about 9:15 which gave me a few precious minutes to slap on a hat, some deoderant, and, if I was feeling particularly sassy, some cologne and new socks.
One morning Phil woke me up a little later than normal. I didn't have time to do anything except grab my bag and go. We got to class and sat in our usual seats in the back of the class and the other students sat down around us.
Then the students started standing in their desks (the desks were the kind with the little attached flap that goes over your lap) and moving away from me. Even Phil moved a little. I guess I smelled pretty bad. But it was hot the night before, you see, so I smelled like a combination of sweat, stale beer, cigarette smoke, and I'm sure a few other things some industrial-strength cleansers probably would have had a tough time getting out of my clothes.
It was an eye-opening experience for me (and an eye-watering one for the other students, I'm assuming) because nothing like that had ever happened to me. From then on I made sure that, even if it meant going to class late, I would at least put on a clean shirt before I left the apartment.
So. Is this story true? Did I really go to class smelling like something pulled out of the dumpster at a really bad British-Taiwanese-fusion restaurant? The Truth will be revealed next week! Till then,
-andy
[9/27/2002 1:19:00 PM | Andy Kovacs]
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like, What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up."
- Lenny Bruce
[9/27/2002 1:25:57 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Reasons I Haven't Updated This Page This Week
1) My boring life has sunk to a new low, giving me absolutely nothing to write about
2) Old-age has begun to creep into me causing me to forget about updating the pages
3) I found something else to do while at work: work!
4) For once I was at a loss for words
5) Like a ninja I keep my movements secret and hidden
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like, What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up."
- Lenny Bruce
[9/27/2002 1:25:57 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Reasons I Haven't Updated This Page This Week
1) My boring life has sunk to a new low, giving me absolutely nothing to write about
2) Old-age has begun to creep into me causing me to forget about updating the pages
3) I found something else to do while at work: work!
4) For once I was at a loss for words
5) Like a ninja I keep my movements secret and hidden
[9/20/2002 9:37:39 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Time-Travel Movies
1) Back to the Future (1985)
2) The Final Countdown (1980)
3) The Terminator (1984)
4) Terminator II: Judgement Day (1991)
5) Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
[9/20/2002 11:36:46 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Everyone's a victim. Circumstances don't matter. You're a victim and I'm a victim. A victim of what? you ask. We're victims of our society, of course!
There are two young girls in New York whose parents are suing McDonalds because the girls are obese. The names of the girls are being withheld because they are minors, but it is known that one girl is 5'9" and 270 pounds, the other is 5'3" and 200 pounds. They say that they have eaten Happy Meals at McDonalds a few times a week for the past few years. They say that McDonalds' advertising makes the meals look too enticing to resist.
I don't think this case should make it to court. I think that the legal system should laugh at this and let it rot and only mention it as the punchline to a joke told during Happy Hour on a Friday night.
The Happy Meal is nothing new. I grew up with it. My friends grew up with it. None of us are suing McDonalds. Some of us are overweight but we are not blaming the fast food industry. I blame myself for being too lazy and unmotivated to do anything about my "spare tire". Of course, this mindset is very unfashionable in the legal world as it negates the "victim" in me.
Actually, this is pretty cool because it sets a legal precedent, doesn't it? We can sue someone because we turned out different than "normal" people and such differences make us uncomfortable, which is unfair. Where is the ACLU when you need them?!
Therefore, in the interest of fairness, from now on I will be "The Victim" because I want to be treated fairly and I want heaps of money as compensation for years of unfair treatment. And, if suing the fast food companies is the only way to get it (aside from working hard and armed robbery), then, by Jove, I'm going to do it! First of all, I need to identify the ways in which I am have been victimized over the years.
I Have Been Victimized by:
1) Fast food - enough said.
2) Video games - these "games" dulled my senses and ruined my vision. They caused me to sit in front of a tv instead of going outside to play, not letting me work off the calories from the fast food I had just eaten.
3) Television - after I was done playing video games I would watch tv. The commercials for the new shows look so good, how can I rationalize missing a single moment? There's a reason they call it "Must See TV", you know. And besides, I didn't want to be the only kid in school who didn't watch the show. Sure, I could have been reading, but my eyes were too far gone because of all the video games I played.
4) Hollywood - Instead of playing little league baseball I'd go to the movies on weekends because it's easier, I don't sweat and I don't have to feel like a loser if my team doesn't win. The movie theater is just too inviting. Plus there's popcorn with butter. And candy.
5) Health foods - the companies who advertise health foods make me feel bad about myself because I don't eat their product and because I don't look like the people they show eating their product. This makes me have even lower self-esteem.
So it's plain to see that I have been a victim for far too long. Now all I need is a greasy lawyer to take up my case and head on to the courts. I estimate that once all of my lawsuits are won, I will be a multi-billionaire. That would be great because then I could buy all the video games I want.
[9/20/2002 9:16:09 AM | Andy Kovacs]
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."
- Homer Simpson
[9/20/2002 10:15:38 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Good afternoon, folks. Today I will post the answer to last week's Truth or Fiction. But first, the question: Was I accused of tying Brian Domkey's shoelaces to his desk in 2nd grade and did I do it?
The answer is: of course I didn't!!! Brian Domkey and I were good friends. This incident actually happened in 4th grade, in Mrs. Fernandez' class. The culprit was Keri Ann Locz and the poor victim was Evan Genaud. Keri Ann got into a heap of trouble over that, but it was still pretty funny.
Congratulations to those of you who got the correct answer! Here is this week's Truth or Fiction:
In sixth grade my teachers were Mr. Wilson and Mrs. Fox. Mrs. Fox was pretty nasty at times, but overall she was nice. Autumn Grovenger didn't think so, though, and one day as we were leaving for lunch, put thumb tacks on Mrs. Fox's chair - pointy side-up. As class was starting again upon returning from lunch, Mrs. Fox sat on them and let out a horrific scream. She jumped up like in a cartoon and, had she jumped any higher, I'm sure that her head would have gone through the ceiling and stuck there. I was one of the only kids laughing at the incident and blame was therefore placed on my shoulders.
Jon Dikun eventually came forward (about 5 minutes later) and said that Autumn had mentioned during gym class that she wanted to do pull that prank. She denied it at first, but soon enough came clean. Yours truly was exonerated. It was at that moment that my six-year crush on Autumn Grovenger officially ended.
So there you have it, folks. Was I once again accused of playing a horrible prank? If so, did Autumn put the tacks down or did I? The answer will be revealed in next week's Truth or Fiction! Till then,
-andy
Top 5 Favorite Time-Travel Movies
1) Back to the Future (1985)
2) The Final Countdown (1980)
3) The Terminator (1984)
4) Terminator II: Judgement Day (1991)
5) Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
[9/20/2002 11:36:46 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Everyone's a victim. Circumstances don't matter. You're a victim and I'm a victim. A victim of what? you ask. We're victims of our society, of course!
There are two young girls in New York whose parents are suing McDonalds because the girls are obese. The names of the girls are being withheld because they are minors, but it is known that one girl is 5'9" and 270 pounds, the other is 5'3" and 200 pounds. They say that they have eaten Happy Meals at McDonalds a few times a week for the past few years. They say that McDonalds' advertising makes the meals look too enticing to resist.
I don't think this case should make it to court. I think that the legal system should laugh at this and let it rot and only mention it as the punchline to a joke told during Happy Hour on a Friday night.
The Happy Meal is nothing new. I grew up with it. My friends grew up with it. None of us are suing McDonalds. Some of us are overweight but we are not blaming the fast food industry. I blame myself for being too lazy and unmotivated to do anything about my "spare tire". Of course, this mindset is very unfashionable in the legal world as it negates the "victim" in me.
Actually, this is pretty cool because it sets a legal precedent, doesn't it? We can sue someone because we turned out different than "normal" people and such differences make us uncomfortable, which is unfair. Where is the ACLU when you need them?!
Therefore, in the interest of fairness, from now on I will be "The Victim" because I want to be treated fairly and I want heaps of money as compensation for years of unfair treatment. And, if suing the fast food companies is the only way to get it (aside from working hard and armed robbery), then, by Jove, I'm going to do it! First of all, I need to identify the ways in which I am have been victimized over the years.
I Have Been Victimized by:
1) Fast food - enough said.
2) Video games - these "games" dulled my senses and ruined my vision. They caused me to sit in front of a tv instead of going outside to play, not letting me work off the calories from the fast food I had just eaten.
3) Television - after I was done playing video games I would watch tv. The commercials for the new shows look so good, how can I rationalize missing a single moment? There's a reason they call it "Must See TV", you know. And besides, I didn't want to be the only kid in school who didn't watch the show. Sure, I could have been reading, but my eyes were too far gone because of all the video games I played.
4) Hollywood - Instead of playing little league baseball I'd go to the movies on weekends because it's easier, I don't sweat and I don't have to feel like a loser if my team doesn't win. The movie theater is just too inviting. Plus there's popcorn with butter. And candy.
5) Health foods - the companies who advertise health foods make me feel bad about myself because I don't eat their product and because I don't look like the people they show eating their product. This makes me have even lower self-esteem.
So it's plain to see that I have been a victim for far too long. Now all I need is a greasy lawyer to take up my case and head on to the courts. I estimate that once all of my lawsuits are won, I will be a multi-billionaire. That would be great because then I could buy all the video games I want.
[9/20/2002 9:16:09 AM | Andy Kovacs]
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get."
- Homer Simpson
[9/20/2002 10:15:38 AM | Andy Kovacs]
Good afternoon, folks. Today I will post the answer to last week's Truth or Fiction. But first, the question: Was I accused of tying Brian Domkey's shoelaces to his desk in 2nd grade and did I do it?
The answer is: of course I didn't!!! Brian Domkey and I were good friends. This incident actually happened in 4th grade, in Mrs. Fernandez' class. The culprit was Keri Ann Locz and the poor victim was Evan Genaud. Keri Ann got into a heap of trouble over that, but it was still pretty funny.
Congratulations to those of you who got the correct answer! Here is this week's Truth or Fiction:
In sixth grade my teachers were Mr. Wilson and Mrs. Fox. Mrs. Fox was pretty nasty at times, but overall she was nice. Autumn Grovenger didn't think so, though, and one day as we were leaving for lunch, put thumb tacks on Mrs. Fox's chair - pointy side-up. As class was starting again upon returning from lunch, Mrs. Fox sat on them and let out a horrific scream. She jumped up like in a cartoon and, had she jumped any higher, I'm sure that her head would have gone through the ceiling and stuck there. I was one of the only kids laughing at the incident and blame was therefore placed on my shoulders.
Jon Dikun eventually came forward (about 5 minutes later) and said that Autumn had mentioned during gym class that she wanted to do pull that prank. She denied it at first, but soon enough came clean. Yours truly was exonerated. It was at that moment that my six-year crush on Autumn Grovenger officially ended.
So there you have it, folks. Was I once again accused of playing a horrible prank? If so, did Autumn put the tacks down or did I? The answer will be revealed in next week's Truth or Fiction! Till then,
-andy
[9/17/2002 11:57:14 AM | Andy Kovacs]
"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."
- Jack Mayberry
[9/17/2002 1:21:28 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Disney animated features
1) Sleeping Beauty (1959)
2) Aladdin (1993)
3) Lilo and Stitch (2002)
4) Beauty and the Beast (1991)
5) The Fox and the Hound (1981)
[9/17/2002 12:43:15 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Snack Foods
1) Popcorn
2) Cheez-It
3) Goldfish
4) Bugles
5) Cheetos (crunchy)
[9/17/2002 3:14:23 PM | Andy Kovacs]
I don't understand the military.
For an organization that typically frowns upon having gay people in their ranks, men in particular, it certainly strikes me as odd that in the army you and your peers are called Privates and in the Navy you are Seamen. Of course a gay man is going to want to be a part of that.
The worst part is that this mentality starts early. The proof? When you join the Boy Scouts as a young boy you start out as a Webelo (pronounced We Blow. that's really how it's pronounced, scouts' honor).
Go ahead, string the words together and make your own jokes. But keep in mind that we put our Privates and Seamen on the line everyday to defend the freedom that we hold so dear.
"I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache."
- Jack Mayberry
[9/17/2002 1:21:28 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Disney animated features
1) Sleeping Beauty (1959)
2) Aladdin (1993)
3) Lilo and Stitch (2002)
4) Beauty and the Beast (1991)
5) The Fox and the Hound (1981)
[9/17/2002 12:43:15 PM | Andy Kovacs]
Top 5 Favorite Snack Foods
1) Popcorn
2) Cheez-It
3) Goldfish
4) Bugles
5) Cheetos (crunchy)
[9/17/2002 3:14:23 PM | Andy Kovacs]
I don't understand the military.
For an organization that typically frowns upon having gay people in their ranks, men in particular, it certainly strikes me as odd that in the army you and your peers are called Privates and in the Navy you are Seamen. Of course a gay man is going to want to be a part of that.
The worst part is that this mentality starts early. The proof? When you join the Boy Scouts as a young boy you start out as a Webelo (pronounced We Blow. that's really how it's pronounced, scouts' honor).
Go ahead, string the words together and make your own jokes. But keep in mind that we put our Privates and Seamen on the line everyday to defend the freedom that we hold so dear.
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