So it's 3 am. Kenzie is sleeping on the couch. I have been trying to clean the apartment for the past 5 hours, but can't seem to motivate myself. Tiff is at our friend's house. The two of them have been cleaning the house we're buying since 8am Saturday. God bless them both. I'd have quit and gone to a buffet a long time ago.

Quote of the Day for 3-26-2005

"Herbivores ate well cause their food didn't never run" - Phish (Reba, from the album Lawnboy)

Tiff and I are in the process of buying a house. And, though I spent many years helping other folks buy the house of their drrreams, this is the first time I've ever been looking for a mortgage. As you may know, I spent the better part of six years processing mortgages for three different companies. The job was great for the first two years. The last four, however, downright sucked. Processing mortgages is a job that a trained monkey can do (no offense to my friends still processing, or to my current processor).

I know, there are loans more complicated than the ones that I had processed, and each loan has its own nuances, but once you start doing it, at any level, or any loan type, you hit a point where you know exactly what the mortgage company needs and what the investor is looking for. Once you progress beyond this point there is no reason that you can't fully process a mortgage in under ten minutes (twelve, if you have to review tax returns).

Anyway, my point is not to get down on the job of processing a loan, my point is that, in my prime, I could process a mortgage in less time than it takes most people to brush their teeth. It was easy. I could "decision a loan" without thinking twice.

But now the tables have turned. I'm on the other end of the phone. I don't have access to the programs and the physical file. I'm not privy to the notes typed into the computer. It's tough not knowing. I think I'm beginning to understand why some of my customers acted the way that they did and said the things they did. Now, I'm not nearly as jumpy as some of the folks to whom I am referring, and I don't think I ever will be.

I do, however, think that I have gained a new appreciation for the job of the processor, and, were I to go back to the world of processing mortgages, I think I would be a more empathetic processor; one who takes more time to explain the process; one who doesn't get offended by being asked the same stupid question five times by the same stupid customer; one whose outlook views processing less as a job and more as a career; one who isn't so darn sarcastic to his customers; one who...oh, who am I kidding?

I'd do everything the same. I'd still be rotten to my customers; I'd still neglect files of customers I don't like; I'd still keep customers on hold just to see how long the light would flash before going dead. Man, I hated processing.